


It Was All My Fault

by SymphonicFantasia



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Forgiveness, Guilt, Klance Zine: Intertwined Galaxies, M/M, Mentions of Eye Injuries, klance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2019-01-19 11:32:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12409524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SymphonicFantasia/pseuds/SymphonicFantasia
Summary: No matter how much Shiro or Hunk or Allura told him otherwise, Keith blamed himself. Lance would still be the same if it weren't for him.





	It Was All My Fault

**Author's Note:**

> This was my entry for the [Klance Zine of 2017: Intertwined Galaxies](https://twitter.com/klancezine2017)! I was so honored to be selected for this and it was one of the first zines I've ever been in. I hope you all enjoy it. I was itching for a chance to write some Lance with an eye injury for a while now. *rubs filthy hands together*

By the end of the second week, guilt had become Keith’s best friend.

They slept together and wandered the halls of Castle Lion when it wouldn’t let him shut his eyes for a moment. It watched ask Keith trained and ate, prodding in the side and forcing him to hunch over, forcing him to replay the events that happened days before.

It was worse when he was with the others, talking during their well-deserved breaks. Guilt would slip down his throat, slide its cold fingers down his ribcage and squeeze his stomach in a vice until he had to excuse himself.

Keith’s only recluse was the Red Lion. He would run to her hangar, guilt holding onto him and tightening its hold with every step. Red would lower her head and accept him into her cockpit. The moment he sat in the chair, guilt disappeared, threatened by Red’s protective link and her growls. She would purr, soothing him and comforting him.

Keith allowed himself to relax. He slept or talked to his lion (although she preferred it when he slept) until it was time to leave. Guilt would be there like a predator, waiting for the perfect time to strike. It always happened the moment he stepped out of his lion. The feeling was crushing, crashing down on him until Keith crippled under the weight.

Today was that sort of day. Red was the only place Keith could take the shortest of naps to get him through the day. While she sent vibrations through him, telling Keith that she was unsatisfied by how little he slept, she quieted when he asked her to. He got this spiel enough when Shiro confronted him about it.

And that was a lot.

_“It wasn’t your fault.”_

_“There was nothing you could do.”_

_“Lance doesn’t blame you.”_

All the talk in the world couldn’t stop Keith from feeling the way he did.

Keith let out a heavy sigh as he opened his eyes. It was a good enough amount of sleep and he was glad that he got it. It’ll last him until the next time he needed to rest. If that time ever came.

He stretched his arms above his head and yawned. “Thanks, Red. I’ll see you next time, okay?”

Red’s comforting purr went through Keith and he hung his head.

“I’ll be fine. If not, you’ll see me soon.”

She purred again and Keith stroked her wall as he made his way out. Each step towards the opening was heavy. He knew that guilt was waiting for him to step out of her safety. Once he did, Keith knew that it would consume him. It was something he had to face.

What waited for Keith was worse, far worse.

Lance looked at him with that grin he always wore, one that bothered and made Keith feel warm whenever he saw it.

Keith couldn’t keep his eyes away from the eyepatch that he now wore. All because of him. Keith would rather have guilt come and tear him to pieces. It would feel better than what he had to face right now. Could he call on it to come and take care of him? If only it worked that way.

“So, this is where you’ve been hiding,” Lance said, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Everyone’s been wondering where you keep running off to when you’re not with us.”

Keith crossed his arms, avoiding his gaze from Lance’s face. He felt bad enough. Looking at him only made him feel worse. “Is there a problem with that?”

Raising his hands, Lance laughed. “Whoa, easy there. I’m not here to start a fight. We’ve just been missing you, buddy. Heck, I think I’ve missed you more than the others did.”

Guilt crept up on him suddenly, doing what he wished it had done moments before. It gripped Keith’s stomach and he refrained from doubling over. The urge was great but he fought back on sheer willpower.

He took a few deep breaths. Keith’s eyes remain trained on the floor as his vision blurred and everything around him became incoherent, a nagging buzzing in his ears.

Hands grabbed his shoulders, bringing him back to the present. Keith’s breath was ragged and he tried to even it out. He stared at Lance’s shoes, following the stitching with his eyes. They were such ugly shoes and Keith berated himself for thinking something so cruel at a sensitive time.

Minutes passed before his breathing was back to normal.

It was then that Keith realized he couldn’t go on like this. He couldn’t continue dodging Lance and being chummy with guilt. Keith would need to carry a lot of burden on his shoulders as the war continued. Lance shouldn’t be one of them.

Lance should _never_ be one of them.

Keith’s first reaction was anger. He brought his hands up to Lance’s shoulders and pushed him away. He knew that he must look strange, scowling and out of breath again. Anger wasn’t the right way to go about this, but sometimes it was the only thing Keith knew. Red’s fire burned through his veins, giving him the strength to confront his problem.

He was going to need it.

“Why aren’t you angry about all this?!”

“Keith--”

“Ever since you left the healing pod, you’ve been doing nothing but making _jokes_!”

And terrible puns at that. Something involving not keeping an eye on the target. Keith didn’t pay too much attention to it. Every joke he made had him sinking further into despair and hating himself with even more.

“Everyone just laughs, and laughs, and _laughs_ as if what happened wasn’t serious. Lance, you…! You…!” Keith deflated, his shoulders sagging and his gaze moving to the floor. He couldn’t bear to look at Lance right now. “You never blamed me…”

Silence filled the room.

Keith couldn’t feel or hear Red. She was quiet, withdrawn from him when he needed her the most. He needed to feel her presence and her warmth to comfort him. Keith needed her to open her jaw and let him inside once more to hide away from Lance. To hide away from the what he had been wanting to hear for so long.

“I did blame you.”

There it was.

Keith clenched his fist and breathed heavily through his nose. Running from it wasn’t an option now. It was out there in the open, cutting him straight to the core. He already blamed himself and to hear Lance agree with him felt like a hard slap of the truth. One that Keith knew he deserved to feel.

“For a while, anyway,” Lance continued.

He smiled when Keith looked up at him, eyes wide and confused. Keith knew that he was eating up his bewildered state. How often could Lance draw this kind of look out of him?

“It was easy to blame someone for my mistakes. You were the closest one to me, and you could have come help me if you stopped for a few minutes to do it.” Lance ran his fingers through his short hair. “After a while, and with a long talk from Shiro and Hunk—a _long_ lecture, let me tell you. I didn’t think I would _ever_ get out of that room. I stopped blaming you after all that.

“It wasn’t your fault what happened. Shiro told me not to run ahead and I still did it.” Lance smiled. “I thought I could be the hero of the mission if I went ahead and pretended to be you.”

Keith went from surprise to pure dumbstruck in a matter of ticks. His jaw went slack and Lance laughed at him. Keith blamed his delayed reactions on lack of sleep. A few days without it would do that to even Pidge, and Keith had seen Pidge when she didn’t sleep often. It wasn’t a pretty sight, but it did give them all a few jokes to remember for years to come.

Crossing his arms, Keith looked away from him. “Ridiculous. You didn’t need to copy me to be a hero.” What he said next made himself cringe, “Even _eye_ can _see_ that…”

The stillness that formed between them was suffocating. Keith grimaced and stared down at the floor. His joke was terrible, and that was worse than what Lance could come up with. This wasn’t his jurisdiction and he wasn’t that great at it. Why did he try in the first place?

But then Lance laughed.

Lance laughed more than he had since the accident. It felt pure and genuine, making Keith feel warm all over as it bounced off the walls of Red’s hanger. It was a feeling that he hadn’t felt in a long time and he smiled.

Keith watched as Lance doubled over, wrapping his arms around his stomach. Eventually, the laughter went on longer than Keith liked.

Stepping forward, Keith covered Lance’s mouth with his hand, his mouth set back in a scowl. “Okay, that’s enough of that.”

Lance continued to giggle like a little kid, his eyes wrinkling at the corners. When his laughter died down, they realized how close they were to each other. Keith hadn’t been this close to him in ages. Since the incident, he stayed away from Lance, seeing him as a fragile being that Keith knew would break if he got too close. With the space between them free from guilt and worry, they were back to what they were before.

It felt nice.

Keith moved his hand until his fingers trimmed the edge of the eyepatch. A finger went beneath it, tracing the scar that was there. He had seen Lance without it. Despite how much care Lance took in his appearance, making sure it was free from any blemish or scar, this scar was difficult for him to get rid of.

Keith thought it was a good look on him, though. He didn’t think he would find it attractive on the Blue Paladin but it did. It was a compliment he wouldn’t utter to Lance, aware of how sensitive he was about his appearance.

Lance turned his head, pressing his lips against Keith’s palm. A flash of want went swelled through Keith. For a moment, Keith wondered what his lips against his skin would feel like. Or what their lips together might make him feel. He wondered how special it would be between them if they _did_ kiss.

Keith pulled his hand back like the contact burned through his gloves. “W-we should head back. Shiro’s probably wondering where we are...”

Lance smiled and Keith swore his heart skipped a beat. When the hell did it start doing that every time Lance smiled? “Sure. Let’s go and see what they’re up to.”

Keith expected to be teased. He expected Lance to make some joke about his embarrassment just to ease his own. But Lance didn’t, even as they walked side by side to the shared living space. Their shoulders bumped every few steps, but Keith wasn’t put off from the contact or the evasion of his personal space.

He smiled.

Familiarity covered them like a warm blanket, guilt washed away by the tides of the shore.

Everything was back to normal now.

**Author's Note:**

> If you bought the PDF or even bought the zine, you'll notice that I actually made quite a few changes to the story. This story was written when I first entered the VLD fandom and I've come a long way as a writer. This story needed some serious editing and I'm glad I was able to apply them and post the story to AO3. I still hope you enjoy the changes and the original!
> 
> Find me at [twitter](https://twitter.com/val_hellaa). ♥


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